It has been such a long time since I last posted: an indication of how time-intensive babies are! What I have discovered about myself through pregnancy and giving birth is this: It is my challenges - the moments when I am required to go beyond my own limits, that are the doorways to grace, to an expanded, fuller version of who I am.
Giving birth was easily the most physically challenge event of my life. It felt as if I kept going to my pain barrier and then had to go beyond it. Time after time after time... I've never felt like my body so intensely before. What amazed me was that I was able to go beyond my own limits, my own ideas of what I could or couldn't do. My limits were figments of my imagination - not ultimate reality.
Since James has arrived, I guess I've been playing with my mental and emotional limits too! The exhaustion, on top of a difficult birth, does test new mothers. And I'm no exception. But it is amazing how - yet again - I have been able to rise to the challenge.
I really 'get' that having challenging experiences opens the doorway of grace. The grit isn't in vain, it allows me to create my own pearls!
No pictures this time as James is crying, so I need to go! Wishing you a grace-full Christmas and New Year.
Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to see you posting again! And a hearty welcome to young James! Parenting makes just about any other job look easy, bit the ultimate rewards of seeing your kids manage to grow up and thrive make it so worthwhile. I am confident that you will be a great Mum, as long as you remember it's a work of grace not limited by your own perceptions of your ability to succeed. My best to you and your loved ones this holiday season.
Greg