Friday, 2 August 2013

Letting life live us

We cannot breathe.  We are breathed.  At best, we may gain control of our breath for a brief moment but, ultimately, it is beyond our sphere of influence.  It comes and goes according to its own rhythm, and when it ceases, it is rarely because we have stopped it; in that precise moment, it has chosen to leave us, not us it.

So why do we imagine we can live our lives?  It's a vestige of the more male-oriented, control-focused society in which we live. 

May I suggest a more radical alternative?  That we allow life to live us: that we surrender the illusion of control and, instead, move into the flow of life. 

Consider this: did you choose the moment of your conception?  Your birth?  Did you know who your partner/s in life would be, when and where you would meet them?  Or did it happen, almost as if by chance?  Has your career followed the path you 'knew' it would?  Do you live in the house and area you 'knew' you would?  If you have children, did you control the moment of conception?!  I know I have to answer 'No' to all those questions.

Life is more like a river that carries us than a building we must construct.  It requires a soft hand on the rudder to feel into the ebbs and flows of the River of Life, so that we may notice the perfect place to stop and pause, as much as the right moment to launch forth into the rapids.

I sometimes think we get in the way of our lives with our obsession to make things/events/people be the way we want them to be.  When we surrender control and begin to feel into life, with our hearts, with our intuition, then we are giving our Life centre stage, freeing it of the costume we think it must wear and allowing it to shine through us in all its glory.

Trying so hard may be trying too hard.  Getting what we think we want may not be as enriching as getting what Life is seeking to give us. 

We could try softening our need to control the rudder, and trusting that Life will indeed guide us, seamlessly, effortlessly, gently, every single time.  Just as our breath breathes us, breath at a time... breath at a time... breath at a time.

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

The waves of change

Change unsettles us.  As a species we are adverse to change, even if it is the only constant in your lives.  Such is the irony of life! 

The reason it unsettles us is because, up to now, we have approached change mentally.  We have wanted to arrest it, to halt it, to avoid it or, at the very least, to understand it.  In short, we have run at change with a giant full stop and we have been trampled by it.  One may as well try to stop the seasons changing by simply standing still.

That was then; in this New Age, change is about wisdom not control, about power not force.  Change is supremely malleable if we approach it with our hearts instead of our minds.  This is how the surfer rides the surf; not by calculating the rate of descent of the wave, but by surrendering to the wave's dance and feeling into it, allowing herself to be carried by its vast energy.  In that moment, surfer and wave become one.  They are united, part of the same energy flow, each enriched by the other.

Nothing is stagnant.  That was the old paradigm. 

Fluid: that is the mantra of our times.  From architecture to change management, it's all about the flow.  From fusion cooking to international migration, it's all about the flow.  The flow of life.  The flow of ideas.  The flow of energy.

Life's invitation is to move to its rhythm, rather than resist it.  Life's invitation is listen within, to follow the gentle prompts of the heart, the moments of intuition and insight, as it whispers to us.  This is how we dance with the wave of life, this is how we are constantly in the right place at the right moment.

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Beyond judgement

If you made one choice this lifetime, choose to accept yourself.  Has fighting who you are really changed anything to date?  Here's why...

Recently, a friend of mine went to an astrologer in India.  After three visits, they found the parchment on which her life was written.  Everything that had happened to her was, indeed, noted on that parchment: a parchment written over 3,000 years ago.

Every one of us has little moments, pockets of our lives that we would do differently if we could have our time again.  But life is more complex than making the 'right' decisions at every moment. Just because we may regret something, or wish we had done it differently, or wonder why we acted so out of character in a particular situation (tick, tick, and tick again!) does not mean it was the wrong decision.

My friend learnt in her reading that some of her 'moments' were a rebalancing of karma; not so much debts that had to be paid, as experiences that were required to round out her experience of being a human, from her soul's perspective.

So rather than living a life of shame, regret and wasted dreams, how about a truly radical decision? How about assuming that life is conspiring in your favour?  That the life you lead is the very best possible life for you, regardless of how it seems on the surface, regardless of the ego's whispers, designed solely to keep you tied to fear and shame. 

The negative energy we have tied up in a lifetime's worth of fear and shame is more damaging than anything else we can do to ourselves, for judgements only come from incomplete knowledge; that is why God does not judge.  Man judges.  And each judgement is but a reflection of the holes we have within, the parts of ourselves that we can neither accept nor love.  Until we do.  Until we accept ourselves utterly, completely. 

In that moment of complete self acceptance,  judgement dissolves, and we accept all others.  All of them.

Friday, 14 June 2013

The Miscarriage Miracle

In life, it can be hard to see the perfection of painful events, or to feel the love, but I share this story because it reminds me that the soul's view of perfection is entirely different from our human idea of perfection.

Several years ago I had a miscarriage.  It is painful emotionally and very painful physically.  What had I done wrong?  What could I have done differently?  There were many questions alongside the grief and a feeling I can best describe as shame mingled with inadequacy.  Several days later, and still in an enormous amount of physical pain, I had a Reiki treatment. 

No sooner had the treatment begun than I felt as if I was floating towards the ceiling.  I saw a ball of light approach me and I instantly recognised this light, this being:  It was my child, and it was a girl.  This is the message she gave me:

"Thank you.  You were a wonderful mother.  It's not your fault, that was all the time I needed."

I still remember the love that flowed from her, the joy and vitality.  And the relief I felt; I had thought I had done something wrong, that it was my fault and she had paid the price.  The truth was something more complex, inexplicable and utterly loving.

I have since read that some souls do not require 70 or 80 years on earth.  They experience all they need to in 40 or 50 years, sometimes in just two or three brief years.  And some just need to touch the earth for the briefest period. 

All this is governed by the soul's divine knowing, not human desires, needs or fears.  What have I learnt?  To trust that what is unfolding in my life, no matter how challenging, is for the highest good.  I can fight it, or I can work towards finding acceptance, peace and harmony with Life.  Even the tough stuff. 

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Born of love

We are all born of Love.  It is true whether we feel we were wanted or unwanted, whether life was easy or hard, whether our childhood was traumatic or idyllic.  We were born of Love.

A child born of a rape may be argued to have been born out of love.  But that is an argument of the human, not the soul.  From the soul's perspective, that choice to incarnate in very difficult circumstances is a choice of love.  It creates rich learning experiences for the souls involved in that Play of Life.

We have all, peppered through our lives, placed challenges, u-turns and upsets that we can't imagine planning, much less being excited about, but the most challenging events in our lives are the seeds to our souls' growth and development.  They are portals for each of us to greater love, compassion, forgiveness and self expression.

There is not one random act on this planet.  There is not one love-less action.  Each and every event, no matter how challenging, has been planned with love and care to offer us the perfect opportunity to grow and expand into our greatest self: a human being ennobled by love, not embittered by fear.

We are not victims.  Nor are we forgotten by God.  We are artists of our own lives, inviting ourselves to remember the love and perfection inherent in every moment, in every action and in every outcome: the perfection of the love that is Us, our divine essence.

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Touching the soul

Have you ever felt completely happy?  Happy enough to burst, yet all you are doing is the washing up?  Or driving to work?

These are moments of Ascension.  Moments when our soul infuses our humanity, when we experience our divine nature directly, not through the nurture of a mother, nor the intoxication of first love.  This is our intimate connection to Our Divine Self. 

Recently, I've been experiencing some exquisite moments of expansion. Moments that were hours long, characterised by joy and love.  The kind of love we all yearn for unconsciously, the complete love of the soul, the higher self, our Inner Angel.  This is our divinity, lived.

As I've mentioned before, all inhabitants of this planet are now on a journey of ascension.  This is the greatest evolution of our species since we came out of the water - and that was quite a while ago, so we're due!  Even standing upright pales into insignificance in contrast with this evolution in humanity.

So what does it mean...  Imagine a winding, dirt track, thronged with horses, carts and pedestrians.  It's a tough route.  That was our old connection to our soul: slow, constricted and gnarled.

Now imagine a wide, smooth high speed motorway.  And you're the only car traveling that road.  This is our new connection, our latest spiritual upgrade, so to speak.  It is because the pathway is now so open and so clear that we are able to have increasingly intense and sustained experiences of our divine self.  And one day, we will all live that joy, day in and day out.

But before that moment, there is a caveat.  It's a new road.  Sometimes, without realising it, we revert to the old dirt track simply because it's familiar.  This is also part of the journey: noticing when we have slipped back into duality, into conflict, lack and neediness, and then consciously clearing those little pockets of darkness whether through yoga, meditation, prayer or any other alternative that works to shift us back to love.

Our soul has always been close, but these are exciting times because now we can touch it; we can live through our Soul rather than through our ego: we can live through love rather than living through fear.

Friday, 7 June 2013

The illusion of perfection

The illusion of perfection is not that perfection does not exist.  The illusion of perfection is that we fail to see the perfection that surrounds us.

We move at such pace that life rushes past our ears.  And in our haste, we miss the perfection of every droplet of life.  A slower life would bring to the foreground the miracles that abound every day, the miracles we fail to see.

Every day shows us perfection.  Indeed, the sunrise and sunset are so unutterably perfect that we take them for granted, never considering a world without the sun.  Yet it is perfection. 

We take food for granted too.  Even the water we drink.  Yet all this is perfection, even if we choose to dismiss, disregard or even devalue these gems of perfection, debasing them as some form of 'given'.

There is perfection on an infinite number of levels, from the obvious - the flowers, the birdsong, the child's laughter - to the subtle, a friend's shoulder to cry on, a kind neighbour, a helpful colleague.  Subtle perfection abounds.

There is also Invisible Perfection.  That is the perfection of each and every moment of our lives.  Every second, every breath, is crafted to bring us to a higher awareness of who we fundamentally are, of our journey to the highest expression of human evolution, the merging of our humanity with our soul energy.

We are showered in perfection.  We are showered in miracles.  Speed isn't always good, faster isn't always better.  Sometimes it's just faster, but hollow, lacking the richness, nourishment and soul-infused joy of the gifts that truly matter, the perfection that abounds, if we would but see it.

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Miracle on my doorstep

With every disaster, there is a story about someone who was never ever late and yet, on this one occasion, they were late and missed the disaster. This is just such a story.

I have four brother, all of whom are hard working, but the greatest workaholic among them, rang me one morning last week.  After he hung up from me he got a panicked call from work.  Where was he?  Was he ok? 

"I'm fine," he replied, "I'm at home, it's my day off."
"No, it's not your day off, that's tomorrow," came the reply.
"No, it's today," insisted my brother, "anyway, what's the problem?"
"When you didn't turn up this morning, we thought you were in the crash..."

There had been a multiple car crash on the road my brother travels every morning, at the exact time he travels it every morning. 

It wasn't his day off.

My brother never misses a minute of work, not to mention muddling up his day off.  It wasn't his time and he was protected. 

My mum rang and asked if I had sent him angels that morning.  I hadn't.  It was his own Guardian Angel.

In a world that can seem harsh, violent and even random, it is comforting to know that we are not alone.  We are all protected. 

Each and every one of us has a powerful, ever-loving Guardian Angel constantly looking out for us.  Sometimes their calling cards are dramatic, as in this case.  Sometimes they are discrete, like little whispers; and the more we listen, the more they can enrich our lives with their guidance, love and grace.

Lights, Camera ... Pause?!

On the surface, a play is all about the Actors.  Great plays don't just have great Actors, they have to have a great Director and Producer too.  It's so tempting to get lost in the role of the Actor.  I know I gone through many scenes and acts without considering any other role ... or how it might transform my Play of Life.

Most of us are like the Actor who is lost in the Play of Life.  We live it, breathe it, and be it, summoning into existence.  Indeed, it is so vivid, so enrapturing, with its highs and lows, that we Actors often forget it is a Play and assume it to be reality.  While that may be fun, we miss out on the wealth of opportunities that exist to expand and deepen our role.
The Producer creates the vision for the play, they create its focus, its texture, its flavour, even its soundtrack.  Without this big picture, Actors may run around creating mayhem, rather than creating a Play of greater beauty, meaning and purpose.

The Director, rather like the coach at a match, stays off the stage and watches the play unfold.  Their distance means that they can coach the Actors, and help them find the best way to respond as events unfold in the Play of Life, while holding the Producer's vision for the Play front and centre.

So I've been working on a few simple questions to remind me about the Producer and Director Roles.  The Producer Questions are deeper questions, taking a meta-view of life, and require a little time and inner reflection, but in answering them well - and revisiting them from time to time, I create a more interesting and empowering Play of Life for myself.  The Director's questions are more strategic, aimed at helping the Actor focus on what is most meaningful in the Play of Life, rather than getting side-tracked in monologues!

Producer Questions

What is the Legacy I wish to leave behind?

  • What brings me most joy in life - the people, the activities, the hobbies?
  • When have I felt most alive and excited?
  • What was the best team I ever worked with?  What was the shared goal?  What made it so much fun? 
  • What can I do in the next year to bring more of these moments into my Life?
  • What are my guiding values? what values do I cherish most in others?
Director Questions
  • What have I done today to bring myself closer to creating an outstanding Life?
  • How have I shared my guiding values with others through my Life today?
  • What would I like to do differently tomorrow?

Friday, 17 May 2013

The path of beauty

It is beauty that reminds us
to go within.  It is beauty that reawakens us when we nod off at the wheel of life.  It is beauty that reconnects us to our soul, our spirit, our divine essence.

Beauty is the reminder that we are not the lives we lead, but the Divine, living a divine dream, experiencing the play of life, of form.

It is not an accident that every culture holds beauty in high regard, however different their interpretation of beauty may be.  It is because beauty is transcendent.  It is of the soul: it is a bridge to our own souls.

Beauty is our essence.  Our divinity.  It is a reflection of who we truly are, our magnificence forgotten, hidden by the veils of life, yet glimpsed out of the corner of our eye, reminding us that we are more than the mundane.

When we notice beauty, we are indeed transported... uplifted.  In that moment, an surge of divine energy flows into us, softly blessing us, gently expanding us to accommodate yet more of our own divine essence.

That is why beauty is a pathway to the Divine, however we conceive of Her.  That is why people meditate on beauty, to open up that pathway in their daily lives.  That is why beauty touches us deeply, for in touching beauty, we touch our divinity.

Friday, 10 May 2013

The flow of freedom

It is not our thoughts that empower or disempower us.  It is our reaction to those thoughts.  When we think thoughts we label 'good', we feel happy.  When we think thoughts we label 'bad', we feel unhappy.  But thoughts neither bind us or enlighten us, emotions do.

Guilt, fear and shame block us.  They cut us off from the energy, vitality, inspiration and abundance of our Higher Self.  In doing so, they dampen our experience of life and its infinite potentiality.

Passion and excitement, joy and enjoyment, on the other hand, expand us.  They open us up to ever greater inspiration, abundance and healing.  They free us from the worries of the mind, which focuses, almost exclusively, on the fears and failures of the past.  When we are in our flow we move beyond our limited past, we connect directly to our spirit, our Higher Self, and we are expanded and enhanced.  We are more truly who we Are.  We are in communion with Self.

The daily application of this is simple - though simple isn't always easy here on Planet Earth - focus on what brings your joy and delight, on your passion and inspiration,  "And all these things shall be given unto you", as the Psalm says.  When you feel fear, shame or guilt, stand back.  Change your focus. 

If it's a problem you really do have to deal with, rather than an absent-minded thought, explore the situation from a different perspective: what is the gift it holds within?  What is the opportunity within the situation? 

Some life lessons require us to 'woman up', yet those are often the ones that stretch us beyond our previous limits: and, in the blink of an eye, we have brought ourselves Home: our delight in solving the challenge from a gift-centred perspective has brought us back to our Essence, our flow, our passion, our delight.

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Parenting with the Angels

Angels are willing to help us with every aspect of human life, though we often forget to ask for help, little realising just how significant a difference they can make to our lives and well being.  Patenting is no exception.

James, my two and a half year old toddler, was over-tired.  There are few children harder to get to sleep than over-tired toddlers; they are completely wired and unable to balance their own emotions or energy by themselves, so calming down for bedtime is almost impossible, even if they desperately want to sleep. 

He bounced from one end of the cot to the other.  He tried every thing from jumping out to body slams against the side, shrieking more than crying.  It was going to be a long night!

Then I remembered to ask the angels for help.  I told my guardian angel to ask his guardian angel to wrap James in their arms to comfort and soothe him, so he could fall asleep easily.  I couldn't believe the speed of the response.  Within two minutes James was lying down quietly.  Ten minutes later, he was sound asleep.

From toddlers to teens, angels are always happy to help us, provided what we request is for the highest good.  Whether it's asking your child's angel to help them concentrate better at school, develop friendships that will support them, or even attend school consistently, angels can help us.  We just have to ask, and then allow them to weave their miracles through our lives.

Friday, 3 May 2013

The world through the eyes of a toddler

It's fascinating to see the world anew, through the eyes of my toddler.  It is always fresh, pure and playful.  And invariably funny!  Here are a few insights from James, age 2 1/2.

On leaving nursery he had clearly mastered what I'm still learning.
"I happy.  I good...
"I happy. I good Mama."
Another pause
"I AM happy.  I good, Mama"

He offered me a half chewed corner of his banana sandwich.
"No thanks, James, I'm fine thank you."
"Taste it!  It's very tasty."
Well, if I'm going to say it to him I better be prepared to hear it: I sure ate my words that day!

"It's time for bed James."
"No Mama."
"What do you mean, 'No Mama'?"
"No! It's very early in the morning."
The power of positive thinking!

He likes to hold onto - and squash - his sandwiches between bites, hence...
"James, put down your sandwich while you're eating."
No response
"Bite it, then put it down, James."
"And eat it Mama."
Why didn't I think of that?!

On returning the box of tissues to their correct place...
"Good boy James, you're a treasure!"
"Yes I am a treasure."
May we all retain such positive self regard!

He threw his animals across the floor in a fit of temper and had a time out to cool down.
"Why did Mummy give you a time out, James?"
"That's right, it's naughty to throw your animals across the room."
"Sorry Mummy.  Now 'Sorry animals.'"
And with that he walked over to the animals strewn across the carpet and said the most heartfelt "Sorry Animals", I think plastic animals have ever heard.

I don't even remember what I did right on this occasion!
"Good boy, Mummy."
"Thank you James, but I'm a girl.  Mummy is a girl."
"Good boy, Mummy girl."

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Fear not the darkness.

Fear not the darkness.  Nor your own dark thoughts.  They are illusions.  They are not your light, nor do they detract from your light.

You are radiant, an effable glow that stretches across universes.   You  are that which you think you are not, both the shadow and the light.

So walk not the path of duality; of one or the other, of light or shadow.  Rather, allow All That Is to flow through you, the light and the shadow, without preference or attachment.  

Then you have become the catalyst for your own transformation.  

In that moment, you are transcendent.  Beyond both the light and the shadow.  Then you will behold the miracle of All That Is, as it weaves in and out of itself, both dividing and unifying simultaneously.  

For then will you see the light and the shadow as a pearlescent rainbow, the colours discrete yet united.  For then will you remember that the mystery of your own self is You.  You are the Divine incarnate.

Search no more.  Seek not what you have already within.  Allow.  Simply allow.  And then you will Be, in the fullest way possible.

Monday, 29 April 2013

Forgiveness: the path of inner kindness

Have you ever thought, 'I would never have done that?'

I have.  More than once.

If you spot 'it' (in another), you got! Whatever irritates you in another is a mirror on a part of yourself that is waiting to be healed.

Then I read somewhere that I, as myself, may not have done that in my circumstances, but had I lived the other person's life and had their experiences, then I would have done exactly that: just as they did.

It's so easy to judge.  It's part fear, part laziness.  Fear because we are afraid of the part of us that acts in that exact way, and laziness because we would rather pretend it's 'out there' than do the inner work of healing that part of ourselves.

Healing is all about forgiveness.  We can heal ourselves, our rifts from others, by forgiving ourselves.  Not them.  Us.

Forgiveness is healing.  Forgiveness is accepting.  Accepting our own pain, our own limitations, our own failings.  Not giving excuses.  Not justifying anything with reasons 'why'.  Not judging others.

Forgiveness is allowing ourselves to have got it wrong.  Allowing ourselves to see a better way , a way that is kinder to both us and others.

Friday, 26 April 2013

As subtle as a sledgehammer

They are pulling down and rebuilding the house next door.  The banging was particularly impressive this morning and I was doing a sterling job of remaining centred and calm, not ignoring it as much as allowing it to be.  Until I read this:

"Every time our buttons get pushed, we could see it as an opportunity to have our own minds be healed of another aspect of that conditioning.  We could even be the most grateful to those of 'get our goat' the most, for they offer us the biggest opportunities to heal.

Step by step, our minds become clearer.  We may have to repeat this process many times on a given issue, until it is gone.  We may be tempted, when the issue returns to think that forgiveness hasn't worked, but we can rest assured that, each time we chip away at it, it is getting smaller."*

Crash.... Bang.... Smash!  I thought the sledgehammer was going to break through the wall!  I dissolved into laughter!  Who says angels don't have a sense of humour?! 

So, relax!  We're getting there, sometimes it feels like we are getting no where, but we are getting there.

*Patrick, Ian (2013) The Key to Happiness and Healing, Cygnus Review, issue 4

Monday, 22 April 2013

Letting go of 'right' and 'wrong'

Hate nothing.  Reject nothing.  Despair of nothing.  Rather, bring compassion, kindness and forgiveness to that from which you recoil.  Where you recoil, there is your growth. 

There is the extension of compassion and oneness that your soul seeks in order to be free: to be perfectly at peace with All that Is.

In the jigsaw of life, there is the shade as well as the light. Neither despise nor reject the shadow, either your failing or the failing of others, for healing is only invited through the door of illness. 

It is the apparent imperfection that gives rise to the apparent perfection.

The language of the heart

To write with poetry is to distract the mind, so that the heart may listen.  For the heart knows the Truth that the mind would corrupt. 

The mind would create gods of words, of collections of words, of ideas.  While the heart, the heart would fly free on the truth of the song.

In your heart resides your truth.  Your knowing.  It is pictures, ideas, 'knowingness'; for the heart paints in the language of freedom, while the mind peddles fear. 

Let the songs of your imagination, the seeds of your idle daydreams feed your heartbeat.  Allow the images to float through your heart, to filter through your mind, and distill your purity.

You are separated not by the body, but by the mind.  Beyond the logic of the mind, is the Universal song of the heart.  The poetry of life. 

Friday, 12 April 2013

Meeting Jesus

This morning, while driving the car, I saw Jesus.  It was a flash, the briefest of moments, but in that millisecond I saw nothing else.

His message was simple, 'Put your trust in Me'.  The image is harder to describe, the outline of a man, radiating golden light, with an enormous heart that invited me within, that invited me to wrap myself in His heart, in His love.

Life has been changing for me recently.  My rollercoaster ride of emotions is more stable.  I feel more joy in tiny moments.  I have been blessed with unexpected gifts and kindness.

My realisation has been: Walk the Path of Light.  This means, for example loving myself when I fail instead of feeling shame, sending forgiveness instead of anger when I have been hurt...  So, each time I feel overwhelmed, upset, angry, or unforgiving, I pray for the light to shine through me; for love to flow through me and through the person or situation vexing me.

This morning, James seemed to have a sick stomach.  I gave him Reiki but still feared that he wouldn't get over it: even after a switch clicked in my head saying, 'He's fine now'.  How's that for ingrained stubbornness?!

I was upset because I wondered when - and how - I was ever going to walk the path of light.  How could I ever recondition my negativity, my fear that the worst will happen? 

As I drove James to nursery, I got my answer: 'Put your trust in Me'.  I don't have to do this on my own.  His light, His divinity can bolster mine, can amplify mine until I'm strong enough to be that person on my own.  But how?  Another answer emerged: tell Him about the issue, trust that He will work it out for the highest good and then let it go.

To be very honest, I've wondered about sharing this story, but I do so for two reasons: first, because I have received enormous solace and insight from the miracles others have shared; and, second, because I'm an ordinary person, this event shows me that Ascended Masters, like Jesus, walk with us all the time and that they are ready to help, we just have to ask.

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Mummy in the mirror

There are probably few mirrors more uncompromising, more unflinching than our children.  While they are not exact copies of us, they do tend to do what we do, not what we say, providing us with a realtime reflection of who we are, not who we think we are.

Over the past few weeks, James (age two and a half) has begun answering questions and suggestions with the most resigned, bored 'Okay' I could ever imagine.  "Where did he learn this?  Who was this bored with him?" I wondered.

The penny dropped today.  Cringe.  It was me. 

There are moments when playing with him is the last thing I want or can do, for various reasons.  And that's the tone I use in those moments: when I've resigned myself to doing what he wants, not what I want to do.  I just didn't realise I did it so often.  Cringe again.

So, what's the insight from this?  The first is this: Life can be muddy, and so too can I. Rather than berating myself, which only increases my feelings of shame, resentment and unworthiness, I can choose Forgiveness for myself, for not living up to my own idealised standard.   

The second is this: This is also an invitation to reconsider how I respond to moments of frustration - not only is James the most important person in my life, he can also be the most persistent, as anyone with experience of toddlers knows! - I don't know exactly how I shall deal with this in the future, but I do know my tone will change. 

And my mirror will show me when I've succeeded!

Friday, 5 April 2013

One is All

Awaken.  Awaken to the beauty that resides deep within you.  You, who are the pinnacle of creation.  You who are the beauty of unimaginable grace.  You are perfection.  Awaken.  Awaken to the beauty within.

Much as the leaves whistle in the wind, they whisper to the trunk, 'So solid as you are, you too are delicate and graceful.  What you are, I am too.  As I am, so are you.  We are of the One.'

That is the journey Home.  The journey of the whisper.  Of the reminder.  Of the growing awareness that what you thought you were not, you are.  The Other is in you, of you; just as I too am in you, of you.  We are all One.

The great harmony of Life grows as each comes to hear that whisper.  The rustle of the leaves, reminding... remembering... All is One.  Above and beyond the illusion.  All is One. 

So too, One is All.  In each and every one of you is all that you love, all that you hate; all that you trust, all that you mistrust; all that you accept, all that you judge.  But could the leaves live without the trunk?  Could the trunk survive without the leaves?  For only the briefest of periods.

You can no more dissect the colours of the rainbow than you can live without each other.  Each and every one of you is a thread in the most beautiful tapestry of divine love.  Tug on one thread and you tug on them all.

This is love in action.  Such is the deepest, most intimate interconnection between you that a kindness to one is felt by all.  Grace extended to one, is extended to all.  Forgiveness extended to one, is extended to all.  All is One.  One love.

Walking as God

Focus not on the flaws, nor the stumbles, but on the path.  Notice the journey.  Your journey.

There is no journey better than another.  Each path has stones.  Each path has smooth sand.  One journey is not superior to another.  I care about every journey with the same passion and depth and breadth of being.

There is no nuance that is lost to me.  There is tear shed that I do not catch.  No laughter that does not enlight my heart.  I tread every path.  I cry every tear.  I laugh every laugh.  Your path is my path.

The pink crystal paths of the Himalayas are no more precious to me than the steps you took this very day.  This Every minute.  Because you tread that step, it too is now encrusted with those self same pink crystals.

Look back on your footprints.  Do you not see how they shimmer?  It was You.  You who created that glean.  It was your footstep that transformed that place.  That moment.  Because you lived it.  It was your sacred creation.  It is your sacred creation.

For each and every minute is just that, your sacred creation.  I do not require it to be perfect.  It already is perfect.  Just notice it.  Notice your moments.  Gently.  See the sparkle in them.  Bring your awareness to your present moment.  Your Present.  It is my present. As it is your present to me.

Painting with God

Do not think yourself so small.  It does you an injustice.  It does me an injustice.  Consider instead this; you are an artist.  I am the paint.  I can be anything, you simply have to conceive of it.

But do not worry if you cannot create a work of art, if you think that what you have painted is not worthy of your dreams; of what others say you should dream.  Consider only this: do you like the colours?  Do they dance with your eye from the canvas? 

If they do, we are in harmony.  We are in beauty, of beauty and, through beauty, in the dance of the divine. 
If they do not, we are still in harmony.  Still in and of and through beauty.  There is nowhere you can hide where the paint is not.

And so I beckon you.  Come with me.  Trust each brush stroke.  Each colour.  Trust each interaction of your life, for you are always dancing with me.  It cannot be otherwise.  We are one.  Every step you take is the right step. 

No matter how far apart you think we are, I am here to tell you that we are together.  We are one.  Inseparable.  You are of me.  I am of you.  It is a dance of eternity. 

With your thoughts you paint your canvas.  With each thought I am your paint.  The colours may sparkle, or they may sludge.  I do not mind.  I am happy just to paint with you.  To be here in the experience of your painting.  To be dancing together.

A love letter from God

Imagine, if you will, the smallest thing.  A single seedling, pushing its single, fragile leaf out above the confines of the crumbling soil that surrounds it.  That is you.

The courage that takes.  Yet it cannot be otherwise.  The seed must push forth.  It must give life to itself.  It must honour its purpose.  The divine blueprint inside beckons it forth, calling to it from timelessness.  It is what it is.  You: You too are what you are.  Called forth from timelessness.

Imagine, if you will, the greatest of creations.  The cosmos, pushing its infinity beyond the confines of invisible walls that appear to hold it in.  That too is you.

It is inevitable.  It cannot be otherwise.  The pulse of the universe beats within it, pushing it gently beyond the edges of what was considered conceivable just yesterday, just now.  That too is you.

In the sacred smile of the divine, you are precious.  More precious than if every star were a jewel, twinkling in the divine eye.  You are more powerful than you understand, deeper than you comprehend.  You are that divine eye that smiles upon yourself.  You are the poetry that enraptures your own soul, caressed by the hand of God, held in the arms of love.

For this is your song.  The song of your soul.  Oh, you know it well, though you may pretend not to hear it.  But how can you not Be your own beauty?  You may hide from it, but you may never quash it.  The Divine essence that is You cannot be buried for long.  Nor can it be ignored, for it whispers in your ear, with each breath you inhale, with each breath you exhale.  Just as the sprout will become a tree, so you too will know Yourself as me. 

You will come back to me, the eternal, all enduring me.  The softness that strokes your tired brow when you cannot sleep in the dark hours of the night.  I am there.  I am with you and beside you and within you.  As you are within me. 

We are one, my beloved.  You and I.  We are the dance of life.  We are the breath of life, the expanse of the cosmos, the eternal whisper of divine love.  You are beauty itself.  And when I gaze upon you, I am breathless.  For this, this is the divine in me in you. 

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

The life of your dreams

What's the life of your dreams?  To win the lottery?  I know I have that daydream!  But the life of our dreams isn't quite that simple (well, since when is winning the lottery simple!).  The ego has its dreams, but the soul too has a dream: and they aren't always the same dream.

What's useful about the ego's dream of a lottery win is that it points towards the soul's dream.  A lottery win is a dream of freedom.  The real question is, if you were free, what would you do?  Who would you be?  That's your soul dream. 

So begin today, to live the life of your dream.  Be a day dreamer!  As I said in the previous post, if you can't run, then walk; if you can't walk, then crawl.*  Take steps, however tiny they may be, in the direction of the life of your dreams.  Before you know it, your crawl will become steps and your steps great leaps.

The more fully we each live the life of our dreams, the greater your gift to humanity.  Blessings to you and your dreams. 

*Not my wisdom, but that of Bear Grylls.

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

The 'Why' of You

'What should I do?'  It's a common question and one that is asked with increasing frequency.  There's an even better question.

Why am I here? 

Another way of phrasing this is 'What's my legacy?'  What is it that I leave behind?  What is the imprint I leave behind? 

But asking the questions in that order: Why am I here?  What's my legacy?  allows us to dip into the deeper truth of who we are, it allows our Inner Angel to speak.  It may only be a whisper at first, but revisiting the question, as a way of honouring who we are, reveals greater and greater insight.

When what we do is aligned with why we are here (our legacy), we have touched the very essence of who we are.  Then we begin to come into alignment: our why, what and who are in harmony.  Then we what we do, no matter how humble it may seem, becomes infinitely powerful because it is aligned with the deepest essence of who we are, our divine destiny.

Don't worry if it's not clear at the start.  Just follow your small hunches.  It gets clearer as we revisit it.  Don't worry if you can't take great strides towards it today.  Just take small steps.  Don't worry if it's less of a footprint and more of a fragrence that you bring to life, most, if not all legacies, are intangible, they are about who we become through the process of life.

Everyday rebirth

While the aim of all life is union with the divine, that is the big picture.  What's the small picture?  I set myself a task this Easter, to discover what rebirth really means to me. 

I believe that Jesus' rebirth was to presage our own rebirth, moving from human consciousness to divine consciousness, but surely it's more than an annual reminder.  As I thought about rebirth over the past few days, a new understanding emerged, an every day understanding of rebirth. 

Complete union with the divine is the big picture, as I said above, however, that is an incremental path.  We do not go from black to white, so to speak, overnight. First we must pass through a million nuances of the rainbow. Rebirth is the story of our dance through each of those nuances. 

Divine union is the story of love, the love that surpasses all knowing.  With each dance through the rainbows of life, we shed the illusion of seperation and embody love more fully, more purely, more completely.  It's a subtle process, but it each time we embrace the life lessons of love, we are reborn, for we come another step closer to our ultimate rebirth into divine consciousness.

Feast days stand out, larger than life.  Or they used to: we have lost the meaning of many of them, but they serve as reminders, like beacons showing us of the steps back to wholeness, to our divine essence.

Monday, 18 March 2013

Unemployed angels

Is your angel unemployed?   He or she probably is.  Angels are hugely respectful of human free will; they never intervene unless asked for their help. 

Have you ever asked your Angel for help? 

He or she may have loads of great ideas to solve the dilemma at hand, to introduce you to the right people, to heal a family rift, to inspire you with just the right idea at the right time, but if you don't ask, they Cannot intervene.

There are millions of unemployed Angels out there, loving their human partners from afar, wishing they could help.

What can Angels do to help?  The short answer is: Anything.  If humans experience it, Angels can help with it.  It stands to reason really, doesn't it?  The Divine would hardly create pockets of human experience where Divine could not go!

So begin with what's worrying you right now.  What's gnawing at the back of your mind?  Relationship?  Family?  Work?  Money?  Health?  Whatever it is, notice it gently now.  Just become aware of it and, if you feel able, send it peace (bless the obstacle) Peace be with my colleague... Peace be with my money...  Now, ask your Angel for their help.  You can say as much or as little as you would like about the issue, but allow your Angel discretion with how to help solve the problem: prescribing the kind of help you want to get doesn't work.  Finally, thank them for their help. 

You don't need to keep reminding your Angel, checking for the blessing, worrying that they didn't hear.  They heard you.  But if it took you quite some time to create an annoying situation, it might also take them a wee while to help you sort it out.

One last note: Angel help is often in the form of an idea, a stepping stone in the direction of the highest good, and the best outcome.  So if you're waiting for a lotto win, you may be waiting a while!  But a good idea to help you create your own millions, now that may arrive infinitely faster.  And what's more, they can help you every step of the way, making the right contacts, opening the right doors, If you ask them to help.

Friday, 15 March 2013

Peeking behind the veil II

Following on from an earlier post, I wanted to share another experience I had when the veil between the 'human world' and the 'spirit world' thinned for me, a kind of spiritual emergence, if you will.

I've been a vegetarian for twenty years.  One day, during the 'emergence' I was out for dinner.  I decided to eat a mouthful of beef, lamb and fish, to ascertain if I wished to continue being a vegetarian. 

As I chewed the beef, I tuned into the cow from whom the meat had come.  What had her life been like?  I was immediately shown a field and a herd of cows.  I was the cow, looking through her eyes.  There was only one emotion: love.  There were no words, no thoughts, just silence.  And an all pervasive love.  She was being love.  Would I eat beef again? No, never.  She was too beautiful.

As I chewed the lamb, I tuned into the sheep from whom the meat had come.  What had her life been like?  I was immediately shown a country setting and a herd of sheep.  And again, I was the sheep, looking through her eyes.  Again, there was only love; no words, no thoughts, just silence and an all pervasive love.  She too was pure love.  Would I eat lamb again? No, never, how could I eat a being of such great beauty?

Finally, I chewed the fish and tuned into the fish from whom the meat had come.  What had her life been like?  I was immediately shown a shoal of fish and rushing water.  I was this fish, again looking through her eyes.  And here too, there was only love.  Silent love.  The experience of being...  And love.  She too was love.  Would I eat fish again?  No. 

I have, since then, eaten fish from time to time, for various reasons.  It always makes me uncomfortable.  As though I am eating a brother or sister, a beloved.  Revisiting this memory has had a profound effect on me.

We humans think we are the smart ones.  It's debatable.  That experience was so deeply profound; there was such a quality of purity to the animals, such a sense of pure presence... we humans, for all our thinking, have moved further away from the 'ideal' human than we would like to imagine.  Animals are not here as meat sources; they are here for their own experience, alongside us, not for us.

Thursday, 14 March 2013


Wednesday was a bad day.  I was tired and cranky.  Very tired.  And very cranky, to be honest.  I had to find a way through my bad humour because it was just making everything worse.

Enter gratitude.  As James and I drove to meet friends, I told him we were going to think of ten things for which we were grateful.  We got to ten pretty easily.  So then we were grateful for twenty things.  We did that too.  We even had a few spare!  There were almost thirty things to be grateful for, right off the bat.

It's very easy to get bogged down in the mud of life.  We can feel like caterpillars, rather than the butterflies we truly are.  Gratitude helps us to fly above the mud.  The mud is still there, but its not so up close and personal!

Gratitude is such a powerful blessing, for not only to we feel good being grateful, but so too does the recipient.  Too frequently in life we fail to tell people that they have helped, that they made a difference to us, that we appreciate them, that we really appreciate them. But think how it feels to be told that we matter, that someone appreciates us - it's a wonderfully unexpected feeling, like bubbles of joy welling up inside.

Why not play with gratitude today and watch the magic unfold?

Bless the Obstacle

Have you ever noticed how, when something goes wrong, you harden inside?  It's the tension, the stress, the fear.  In that moment, we are in opposition with the obstacle.  It sets up a win/lose dynamic.

Bless the obstacle.  It dissolves tension.  Bless the obstacle.  It dissolves opposition.  Bless the obstacle.  It dissolves stress.  Bless the obstacle.  It's the pathway to unexpected miracles.

Someone jumps ahead of you in the queue.  Peace be with you.
Someone steals your idea at work.  Peace be with you.
The red lights are against you.  Peace be with you.
You get soaked on the way home.  Peace be with you.
The childminder cancels.  Peace be with you.
Your teenager is withdrawn and angry.  Peace be with you.
Your toddler makes your teenager look like a polite guest.  Peace be with you. Peace be with you. Peace be with me.
You mess up.  Peace be with me.
You're having a bad hair day / fat day / wrong-side-of-the-bed-day.  Peace be with me. Peace be with me.  Peace be with me.

It rebalances you.  It centres you.  It's a tiny shift that makes an enormous difference.  It changes the outcome. 

Nor is this pie in the sky.  My two year hasn't slept through the night in months.  Last night was no excpetion.  I lay awake for two hours, unable to return to sleep after yet another episode.   Peace be with you.  Peace be with you.  Peace be with you.  Peace be with me.  Over and over again.

This morning, to my amazement, I feel rested, calm and loving.  He is being an adorable darling.  Peace be with you.  It's the work of your Inner Angel.

Bless the obstacle.  Why walk around it when you can dissolve it?  Peace be with you.  Today and always.

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

The Angel Inside

It's so easy to imagine that angels exist somewhere 'out there'; that they have almost nothing to do with us, unless we ask, plead and even beg; that they are somehow 'beyond' us in goodness.

For millennia, this is how we have also viewed God, a divine force far beyond us, sitting over and above us in judgement.  Gradually, we have become aware that this divine force is a part of us.  We too are made of this divine spark.  We too are Divine.

And so it is with angels.  We too are angels.  Uncovering the divine within is uncovering the angel within.  We are those embodiments of love, grace, kindness and patience. 

Making the angel inside visible outside does not require yet more doing.  In fact, doing is often counter-productive!  Being first, doing second is far more effective. 

When we decide who we wish to be, and act from this knowingness, from this quality, we begin to create a life that is more grace-full, a life where we the divine within, the angel within are visible to others, (even if we do not always see it ourselves).

Monday, 4 March 2013

The overwhelm angel

I have a tendency to think that angels are all love and light, but humans aren't, so why should angels be?  Ok, so that's a rhetorical question! 

The point is this: we humans can be stubborn.  If we weren't, we would learn life's lessons with the lightest of touches, with grace and ease, moving on before a situation implodes around our ears.  We don't.  Some of us even thrive on the drama of chaos.

So angels of redundancy and overwhelm may not be actual angels, but metaphors for the human condition and not necessarily something to be feared. 

Human beings, from my personal experience, by and large, tend to like the comfort of the familiar.  We are loathe to change, even when it's for our own highest good.  Enter the Overwhelm Angel: this angel visits us when we are too cosy within our own mess. 

The Overwhelm Angel is an angel of great kindness, compassion and non-judgement.  She invites us to upgrade our lives, to move into a new room in the mansion of life, so to speak.

This angel removes the dark glasses we were wearing, the blinkers that allowed us to avoid seeing our reality for what it is: an inadequate reflection of who we are.  This angel invites us to step up to life and sort the treasures from the rubble in our daily life. 

It's useful to remember the kindness of this angel, because when we feel overwhelmed we have a tendency to add large dollops of shame, anger and resentment to the mixture.  It's not necessary. 

Bringing kindness to every aspect of the human condition is a spiritual practice in itself, a healing practice of global consequence, for we are never the small time actors we imagine, we are powerful, we are angels, we are the divine... and we're slowly remembering that truth. 

From the ashes of overwhelm, come the gifts of this angel, insight, clarity and compassion.

Friday, 22 February 2013

The Redundancy Angel

"I've been touched by the Redundancy Angel," Susannah told me last night. 
"Well there's one I haven't heard of before!" I replied.
"Yes!  Well, it's true, I was getting too complacent at things not working out for me," she added.
"Yes, some people might fight when everything is taken from them, and I haven't.  I think it's here to give me a shake up," she responded.

I have read that we lose our jobs when we have disengaged from them, when we have outgrown them but we are unwilling to move on.  It is a blessing, albeit another blessing in disguise!  Yet it can be so terribly hard to feel that way about it when we first get the news. 

I remember being made redundant many, many years ago: the shame, the embarrassment, the fear for the future, and the quiet knowing that it was the right thing, for both the company and myself.  It proved to be a turning point.  I retrained and moved into a completely different field.

Life is infinitely gracious.  The more I walk my path with honesty and integrity, the more I see that grace, especially in the face of so-called disasters.  We are held in great love and behind every event that scares us, that troubles us, that intimidates us is the guiding hand of love.  Over lifetimes it rebalances our experiences with infinite kindness and compassion, bringing us to the point where we finally are ready to blossom into love.  To remember who we truly are and always have been, love.  Divine love.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Blessing deep and wide

Blessings seem to have gone out of fashion. I often feel a bit like an old woman when I talk about blessings, and yet nothing could be further from the truth.

I once read the story of a woman who was in a car accident.  She left her body and meet an angel who traveled with her above the tailback her accident had caused on the motorway.  In all the cars she saw angry, anxious people, annoyed at the delay to their journey.  In all the cars, except one.  In that one car a woman sat quietly blessing all involved in the accident, whether directly or indirectly.  She and her car radiated light.  The lady made a mental note of the car registration and when she recovered she went and found that woman to thank her for her blessing, as they had speeded her recovery and to tell her how powerful her blessing had been.

I love that blessing woman!  I want to be that woman: the person who, when everyone else is angry and annoyed, is centred and spreading love; mind you, it's even better if we are all spreading love!

So I bless accidents, people who look sad in the street, houses where I hear shouting, crying children... the obvious people and situations.  But I also bless deep and wide (well, that's my fancy term for it).

When sitting on the underground, I send a blessing to everyone who has sat in that seat, ever.  And everyone one who will ever sit in the seat.  And ride that train.  Then I think about everyone who rides any train, anywhere in the world; we are connected by the same activity though we are on different corners of the world and have never met.  I bless them.  Then I think back in time to all the people who have ever ridden any train, and I bless them.  Then I think forward to all future train users, and I bless them. 

Gradually, I build a little web of blessings, weaving love and light across time and space.  For a moment, I feel my connection to unknown others.  I feel an intimacy with strangers, a genuine desire for their well being, and I too am blessed, because I feel a deep sense of peace, love and connection with All That Is.  When I bless, I touch All That Is.

For me, it is a blessing to bless.  It allows me to contribute directly to the wellbeing of each person, of every person.  My Blessing Deep and Wide method is just for my own amusement, I enjoy finding new ways of experiencing my connection with All That Is.

There are as many ways to bless as there are human thoughts - so quite a few! - and we can all find our own way.

The Ascension Rose

The Ascension process is the human equivalent of a rose bud blossoming: it is gentle, graceful, and of infinite beauty. 

It's worthwhile remembering those qualities because I know that, too often, I'm in such a hurry to flower, I become impatient and self critical: hardly a moment of beauty!

So, how do we blossom?  How can we engage in the process, gracefully?

At the core of the Ascension process is Love: the intimate, fully conscious union of ego and soul.  Remembering this makes the path a little clearer. 

This is a gentle path, which I frequently forget, but I think this is of fundamental importance.  Reconnecting with the soul, the Higher Self, is all about raising our vibration.  It is about expanding our ego from its traditional focus on fear, anger, greed and loss to the higher qualities inherent of the soul: love, compassion, forgiveness, and humour.

We all possess these beautiful qualities, but we have a tendency to save them for our nearest and dearest.  In our Ascension blossoming, we are invited to express these qualities fully, consistently and with everyone.  It's a tall order.  It requires practice.  It requires great gentleness because, for me anyway, I get really frustrated when I fall asleep on the job!  When I snap at my husband, because he pressed my button and I react blindly rather than taking a moment to stand back, to notice the truth of his comment, to respond from a place of honesty and compassion. 

This is a spiritual practice and like any spiritual practice, it takes time and commitment, and being human, and a willingness to keep forgiving ourselves when we forget.

Monday, 18 February 2013

Is grief selfish?

A friend asked me if grief is selfish.  It's such a good question I wanted to explore it for myself. 

In essence, I believe that grief is of the self (the personality), but not of the Self (the Soul).

Grief is our pain at loss and separation from a loved one.  It comes from that limited part of us that is bound by the personality and the ego.  It comes from the part of us that believes the story of death, of separation and loss.

The Self, on the otherhand, is infinite.  It knows All.  For the Self, separation is simply an illusion.  It knows that the drama of life is simply that: a drama, a stage we have created on which we can experiment with emotions and physicality, all under the veil of amnesia, the complete forgetfulness of our expansive, infinite, divine essence.

We live, love and even lose whilst we play on the stage of life.  When the drama is over, when we have experienced all that we came to experience, we leave the stage.  We return to the Self we had forgotten while acting upon the stage.  As the Self, we are one with all.

I suspect that the reason that, in mourning, we pass from moments of acceptance to moments of grief is because we are both the ego self and the Divine Self.  Consequently, we flow between those two states of being, touching into the knowing of each part in turn.  As the light subsumes the darkness, so too the knowing of the Self eventually dissolves the grief felt by the ego self.

So my answer is this: grief is of the self.  It is not selfish, because selfish carries the weight of criticism and error.  It is, rather, a dance in the experience of life.  It is a state through which we pass, until we have made our peace with the passing, with the ever evolving drama of life.

Friday, 15 February 2013

What is Ascension?

A friend recently asked me what is this Ascension that I'm constantly mentioning.  Excellent question, to which I hope this is, at the very least, a good reply!

Ascension is the current stage in the process of evolution through which humanity is constantly moving.  Human kind has made several big jumps in the past: breathing out of the water and walking on two legs are two of the biggest evolutionary steps we made.* 

Ascension is the next big leap.  In short, it means living with conscious knowledge of our soul.  Through the ages there have been people who have achieved enlightenment, or self realisation, but they were the exceptions, not the rule.  We are now entering a period when enlightement is possible for everyone. 

Imagine such a world...  A world where we care more about people than things, a world where we care not just for our loved ones, but for complete strangers; a world where we share willingly whatever we have; a world where we nurture the young, the old, and the ill. A world where we value wisdom over beauty, and soul over body.  A world of tolerance.  A world of compassion. A world of love. 

I don't imagine that the sun rose one day and suddenly our fishy ancestors could all breathe air.  Nor were our ancestors all able to walk on two legs one fine day.  It was a process.  It took time and practice.  A cursory glance at the present state of our planet is enough to tell us that Ascension is also a process.

Now for my sceptic friends reading this (you know who you are!), where's my proof?  In short, I don't have any.  Many, many spiritual teachers I respect are speaking of this.  I have my own experience of the energies on the planet changing, but I have no proof.  Then again, is there ever enough proof for a sceptic?!

All I can say is this: we have to believe in something.  I choose to believe in a world where the magnificence I feel in other people is manifest, in a world where we live up to our potential, a potential which spirtual teachers from Allah to Buddha to Christ have seen within us and invited us to embrace. 

I choose to believe in Heaven on Earth.

 *I'm not including fire, agriculture and industrialisation as they were processes outside us rather than intrinsic to us.

Be peace, be love

As I wobbled my way through two upsetting events in the space of 24 hours, I finally got it...

I cannot be at peace in times of challenge if I can't be at peace in times of peace.  That's why it's worthwhile becoming present... aware of my breathing... connected to my heart, to love, in everyday moments.  

That's why it's important to become self aware in the day to day of mundane life; so that I can remain centred, peaceful and loving, when challenges arise, because that's exactly the opposite of what I want to do when faced with a challenge. 

Challenges are a bit like a spiritual end of term show: they are opportunities for us to show how we have developed and grown, spiritually if not more than personally. Challenges, true challenges, can seem to overwhelm us, and our immediate reaction is to close down or lash out.  It's tough to remain centred.

It's very clear to me now.  Life on the spiritual path is about our energy, it is about consciously holding our Divine spark (peace and love) no matter what. 

It's not about the car or the house, it's about retaining our connection to who we really are, our Divine Essence.

Gentling death

We fear the unknown, so it is no wonder that we fear death, that it's presence makes us distinctly uneasy.  Recently, death has been nudging into my life, through friends and relations who are, or have been, terminally ill; so I spent some time getting gentle about what death means for those who are left behind.

We fear the unknown because we have known so little about death, but that is changing.  From esoteric wisdom to near death experiences, a clear, consistent understanding is emerging.

We came from love, we return to love.  The life force that animates us is not lost, nor can it be, for energy cannot be destroyed, it simply changes form.  Even the personality goes on, though it is absorbed into loving embrace of the soul to rest, to recharge and to renew itself.

Death, or even the discovery of a terminal illness, splits us in two.  It is as though we live two lives simultaneously.  On the surface, it may appear that we are coping; inside we are falling apart, or even numb. We walk down the street and wonder how everyone else is managing to live life normally, when the fabric of our lives, the fabric of our very being, has been irreperably torn apart.  Life will never be the same again.  We will never be the same again. 

It is an illusion that we are independent.  It is only when we lose a loved one that we realise we were never independent.  We are entwined in each other.  The spiritual truth that All is One can seem so very abstract, but when we lose a loved one, we glimpse the truth of it.  They are a part of the fabric of who we are and, as such, they go on being a part of our fabric, woven into the character of who we are, assimilated and living on within us.

And we are left behind.  We stay on, trying to pick up the pieces and act as before, in a world that seems somehow unreal, unaware of our titanic loss.  Yet spiritual traditions say that death is the greatest gift we give those we leave behind because, in being torn open, we can learn much. 

We glimpse the truth that All is One; we understand the value of loving and being loved, how nothing else matters as much as that, in the final analysis; and, in our broken hearts, we learn compassion, for everyone has been touched by the loss of a loved one.  All is One.

In our fear and distrust of death, we have made it somehow brutal and barbaric.  We meet people who have lost a beloved, and we turn away, or ignore the greatest truth of their lives in that moment because we lack the skills to express our compassion. We have tried to hide it on the fringes of life, pretending that it doesn't exist.  It is time for a rethink.  It is time to gentle death.  

It is a right of passage, the greatest second only to our birth (and look at how that is embraced).  The pain it leaves behind shows only that the joy in our birth was justified, we loved and we were loved. 

Toddler talk - Jamesisms

More insights into life through the eyes of James, age 2 1/4.

Train road  ....   train track

Mummy's washing hands .... Washing up gloves

Oh yesa pulease ....  Yes please.

Kangbaloo  ....   kangaroo

Epelent  ....   elephant

Gaga  ...   granddad (he may be right though!)

"Mama, snack please"
"But you'll be having your breakfast at nursery in a little while, James."
"Yes Mama, snack in the home."
[I did give in.  Who could blame me?]

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Peeking behind the veil I

More than ten years ago, I had the opportunity to peak behind the veil of reality.  I was shown the deep symbolism of our planet and the richness of love that permeates Everything.

The experience was staggering in its depth and beauty.  It changed me forever, but it wasn't enlightenment, just a glimpse of what that could be: a glimpse so intense that I stopped meditating for years in order to feel more 'normal' again.    And with all the contrariness of a human being, life is now so 'normal' that I miss the richness of those experiences!  But humanity is changing, changing rapidly; I have no doubt that what was so exceptional then will become commonplace understanding before long.

We are surrounded by nature, by trees, mountains, clouds, rocks... We were originally embedded in the natural world, living as one with the cycles of the earth, the energy of the seasons, of night and day.  It permeated us.  We were that energy.  Indeed, we still are.

With industrialisation, we moved away from our intimate connection with the earth energy, the energy of creation, to create for ourselves, by our own minds.  While this has been a part of the journey, its success needs to be juxtaposed with the cost of our relentless consumption of finite resources in order to fuel that creation, a principle that is utterly out of sync with the natural forces that pillage nothing, but recycle everything.

Through our success, we became disjointed from ourselves.  We are of the earth, of the cycles, of nature.  We can suppress that intrinsic part of ourselves, but we cannot eradicate it.  We are as inexorably connected to this primal energy as we are to our very souls.

Peeking behind the veil, I became aware of a deeper truth embedded in nature.  Take trees as an example: at the superficial level, they provide oxygen, shade, fruit... some may even believe that they have a soul, that they are an incarnation of the divine, just as we are.

There is an even deeper significance: each species of tree holds a different 'code', a vibration... We may look at the leaves of a tree and see the leaf, the veins, the stem but, simultaneously, our soul recognises the message of the leaf.  That leaf has reminded our unconscious of our true origin, of our divinity, of our soul essences (our values and qualities).

Each leaf, each species, tells a slightly different story, but all with the one story line, the Book of Divine Love.  Nor is this just true of trees: it is true of every species of flower, bush and grass... all elements of nature.  It is even true of every cloud shape.

This is one of the reasons why it feels so good to be in nature.  When we are in nature, it's not just the richer oxygen level, the beauty of the trees, or even the blessings and detoxifications that the Nature angels and elementals offer us.  It is because we are returning to our source - our physical source, in harmony with the primal energy of Gaia, Mother Earth, and our Divine source, as we are reminded by the deep symbolism all around us in nature.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

True to yourself

Do you find it hard to disappoint others?  I'm guilty of this; and it came home to roost this weekend.

A friend asked me out with a group of her friends recently.  I said yes, eventhough I don't like going out in the evening very much.  To be honest, I'm rather a hermit these days.  The day before the event I felt very unwell.  The day of the event I felt better, but I was still not right.  Finally, I cancelled. 

I know, it's rude to cancel at the last minute and if you knew me, you'd know that it was probably inevitable.  My friend was understandably annoyed.  Very annoyed.  It's been awkward since.

I was talking this through with one of my 'soul sisters' which helped so much I thought I'd share her wisdom.  She suggested that people pleasers are best served by going for short term pain instead of long term pain; it's better to say 'No, I'm sorry, that's not really my thing,' at the outset and risk upsetting someone, than spending weeks worrying about something and disappointing them closer to the date, when they are more invested in your attendance/participation/contribution etc.

She added that if someone is a true friend, they will accept me, flaws and all.  Moreover, if it is a new friendship, what is it worth if it's not built on honesty?  They will never get to know the real me, what kind of friendship is that?

It is a hard lesson to learn, but I need to stop and think before I respond to invitations, at least for a while.  It's a cliche but, if you never say 'no', what is your 'yes' really worth?

Monday, 11 February 2013

A change of heart

There is a Socialist at the local hospital who often asks me to sign his petition to save the NHS.  I always refuse gently and bless him as I leave.  I agree with his cause.  I don't agree with his politics.

Whether socialist or conservative, democrat or republican, all political movements are built about arguments, upon mental constructs.  And the problem with mental arguments is they are so fickle, so fragile, all it takes is a new argument we change our minds.  We go from one policy to the opposite, from one ruling party to the opposite.

What is required is a change of heart, not a change of mind.  The mind is fickle.  The heart is eternal.

It is only when we have a change of heart, when we genuinely care for others that we will demand an expanded health service for all, that we will commit to high quality education for all, that the youngest and oldest in society will be protected, honoured and nurtured.

Society stands on the foothills of a new dawning.  We already see that the veils of the old melting, for it is impossible to keep secrets any longer.  The truth always comes out.  Our desire for truth and integrity is just one indication of the evolution of our species.  This comes from the heart.  And as our hearts evolve, so too will our policies and our politics.

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Web of light

I've spun a new web of light.  I'm now posting on Living with Angels 101 and on facebook also under Living with Angels 101.  I wanted to share my thoughts with a wider audience and add to the web of light that many of us are weaving around the world.

I will still come back here for more personal postings, and I hope to see you at my lights!


We are the sculptors of our own lives.  Our thoughts are potent.  Indeed, we are what we think.  As within, so without.  The world around us is an exact reflection of our inner world. 

If there is something we dislike in someone else, it is because our soul is calling our attention to that characteristic in ourselves; we are being asked to own it and to heal it.

Creating heaven on earth for ourselves, allowing our Inner Angel to shine brightly requires us to master our thoughts.  Not overnight, or even over a week or a year.  Time isn't the issue.  It is intention.  Our intentions create the invisible signposts our soul use to create our physical lives.  For that reason, it pays to become aware of our intentions. 

Most of us create our lives unconsciously.  We don't set intentions so our lives can often seem ... a tad random, as if we weren't scripting our lives.  And that would be the truth.  Being unconscious of our inentions is unconcsious or random creation.

Personally, I have been a little lackluster in this department.  I've some big picture, life intentions, but my day to day life had been unguided until recently. I decided to take stock of my world. 

What was working?  What was really bugging me about my world?  Snappy, critical people.  Well guess what, Jennifer... that's You.  After the initial discomfort of owning my own snappy, critical responses - mostly to my poor husband - it's always those closest to us that suffer our shadow side most - I decided to do it differently. 

I created an affirmation: I am surrounded by happy, helpful, loving people.  I repeat this as often as I can with the intention of healing the part within that feels the need to be harsh and critical.

The effect has been two fold.  The first is that I have genuinely noticed that I feel much happier inside, more like a plump plum not a wrinkled prune!  Consequently, I am far kinder and more helpful towards my husband. 

The second effect is that I am meeting more kind, helpful people.  Every day.  Each day brings me more uplifting interactions with others, and more unexpected help and warmth from others, even strangers.

There are many areas of life I could improve, but for now, I'm just healing this little bit of me.  And noticing how healing myself creates blessings for me and those around me.  Such is the power of Intention and affirmation combined.