Monday, 1 October 2012

My final frontier

I have done so much personal work that I was bound to arrive at this point sooner or later.  Mind you, I had kind of thought that I would get away with skirting around the edges of it.

But here we are.  My final frontier.  My body.  The long and short of it is that I have been punishing my body for being too fat since I can remember.  I was always the 'big girl'.  I have associated being fat with failing and with being unlovable.  I may no longer be fat, but a thousand times a day I will berate myself for my body shape and weight.  It's a dysfunctional relationship but I'm used to it.

I thought this was it.  This was the way it would be from here on in.  Apparently not.  As my journey progresses, I get intuitions of what needs to be healed, made whole and released.  Next stage: my body.  Agh....

So where to begin?  Over thirty years of conditioning await.  The idea I had was, for just one week, to love my body; to enrobe it in a duvet of pink light, to see pink light flowing through me.  I am to eat what I want, simply blessing it with love and blessing my body with love as I eat it. 

Two days in I can already say that when I have taken the time to envelop myself in pink light for ten minutes I feel amazing.  I really feel lighter - in all senses!  I feel nurtured.  I am love.  I eat love.  It's that simple. 

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