I have two addictions: chocolate and wine. On the good side, it's just chocolate, not all sugar or even all sweets! Ditto wine; it's not all alcohol, it's just the category under the heading Wine.
Each week I vow to give them up and each week I fail. Then I beat myself up.
When I became a vegetarian, it was because I no longer desired meat. Meat left me, I didn't leave it.
I realised this morning that those twin sticking points are reflections of areas where I am stuck in my inner world. When I am no longer stuck there, I will no longer want wine or chocolate. I may have them now and again, but I won't be locked in a win/lose battle with them.
As within, so without. Our addictions (whether they are deeply entrenched or lightly coated) slide away from us when the emotions they serve and the sense of protection they give us, are no longer required because that part of us is healed.
So I'm signing off on my chocowine war. For now, they are symbolic of a part of me that requires some healing. Better to focus inside on discovering what that part is and how I can heal it, than adding to the pain by setting myself up for continual defeat in a war that's not mine to win because I have chosen the wrong strategy.
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